Growing Up Is Hard To Do

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves… for growing up.”- The Wonder Years

We all come to that point in our lives, when we realize it’s time to grow up. This happens at a different time for everyone. For some of us this happens at a very early age when circumstances force us to take on responsibilities and face challenges others don’t. Others happen after they graduate, and are on on their own. Yet for some (like myself) this happens a little later.

I don’t know what it was today that made me realize I hadn’t grown up yet. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not Will Ferrell from Wedding Crashers. I graduated college early, went right into working full-time and moved into the city with roommates. I guess I realized, that acting like a grown up is more than just going through the motions, it’s taking responsibility and control for everything in your life. Below I’ve listed what to me defines being a “grown up.” Some of these may seem obvious, but they can easily be overlooked.

1. Taking control of your finances- Unfortunately, ignoring your debt won’t make it go away. As we enter our early- mid twenties we have loans, payments and costs that don’t magically sort themselves out. It takes really sitting down, and making a budget for yourself to have your money work. Mint.com is pretty awesome in that it shows you graphs of your spending and balances automatically everyday so you can see where your money is going. In college, we have time to bounce back if our credit score falls, but as we get older this prevents us from huge things- like buying houses and getting loans.

2. Partying responsibly-  In college, day drinking with friends and dancing on tables was funny. As we get older, it’s not- our strikes are up. When we are older, not only does drinking take a toll on our bodies, but one bad night out can cost you your reputation, relationships and job. Drinking like a grown up, means a drink or two with friends- not shots and beer bongs.

3. Admitting fault- when we were younger, it was so easy to place blame on others- the dog, our siblings, someone else in our class. But now, the mark of a grown up is being able to admit when you are wrong, and except the consequences. In relationships at home and at work, sometimes we need to take a step back and realize how we affected the situation. If we made wrong, then it’s our responsibility to make right. If you mess up, take responsibility and go above and beyond to make it better.

4. Getting healthy- In high school and college, we could eat pizza late night, and skip weeks at the gym and have banging bodies. Now, the weight and health problems creep up on us. Exercising, eating healthy and getting regular checkups aren’t optional, they’re required.

5. Following through- When I was younger, I’d get so sick of my coaches telling me to “follow through” when I played sports. But you know what- it paid off every time. It’s no different now as we live our lives. If we made a promise in college or high school it was okay to brush things off if we didn’t feel like doing them- we are young and aloud to change our minds often. But now, we are accountable for our words and actions and must follow through with our promises- even if it’s something we don’t want to do.

6. Being confident- as we figure out what we want to do in our lives and in high school and college, and as our bodies change, naturally we lose self esteem. But when we actually grow up, we realize that not having confidence becomes an anchor holding us down. It gets us in bad relationships, prevents us from being the best at work and loses the respect and trust from others. Feeling confident in our abilities, and self is essential to growing up.

7. Realizing it’s okay to not be perfect- I’ve always (as I’m sure many other bloggers out there are) been a perfectionist. Even in elementary school I’d never settle for anything less than a A on my report card. If I didn’t feel that my weight, hair or outfit was perfect, I’d get really depressed. But as you get older, it gets draining. Growing up, means realizing that it’s okay to not do everything perfectly. It means realizing your strengths and weaknesses and focusing on what you are great at. It means not beating yourself up for a pound or two, and wearing what makes you happy.

8. Cleaning up after yourself- I know what you are thinking, this is an obvious one right? Well, for me I’ve always been super cluttery. In college, my roommate and I would clean our rooms once our sides joined. (gross I know) Eager to move on to the next thing, it’s easier to just to drop a shirt on the floor and clean it later. But growing up, means taking care of what you have, and spend your money on. It means picking up your clothes, cleaning the house daily, doing dishes and vacuuming. It’s understanding that you have to sacrifice some of the fun stuff to do chores once in awhile.

9. Deciding a career path- in college and highschool, even after graduation it’s okay to not know what you want to do with your life. But, as we enter our mid twenties (yikes!) it comes time to pick something and run with it. This might mean going back to school and taking classes, having a mentor, or networking to decide. There’s no rule that says you can’t change your career path along the way, but mastering whatever you are doing at the time (and makes you happy) is necessary. Growing up means sticking with our commitments to work, excelling at whatever we are doing and not giving up when things get hard.

10. Ending the booty calls. With thousands of young people partying, drinking and living next door to each other, hookups in college weren’t looked down upon. But as we get older, we have to have respect for our bodies, and seek relationships instead of random hookups. Growing up means expecting to be courted- to go out to lunch/dinner, talk on the phone before 12am, and avoiding the “text-only” relationships. It means that if you aren’t being treated with the respect, being comfortable enough to be on your own.

As I look back on this list, It sure doesn’t look fun to be a grown up But, as we get older if we don’t do these things, it makes our lives a lot harder than necessary.  As Winston Groom said, “If your gonna screw up, do it while you’re young. Older you get, the harder it is to bounce back.”