TheMadGrad

This was sent to a friend by a co-worked and forwarded to me. It is funny, but at the same time symbolic because its crazy to think how much your lifestyle and the things you believe in can change in such a short amount of time. Remember you are growing up and changing but still so young and this is the time of our life where we are allowed to have fun, party and be selfish, because someday it will all be different and you don’t want to look back with any regrets. 

You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

Your potted plants stay alive.

Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.

You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

You have to pay your own credit card bill.

You haven’t seen a soap opera in over a year.

8:00 a.m. is not early.

You have to file your own taxes.

You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.

You’re not carded anymore.

You carry an umbrella.

Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.

You start watching the Weather Channel.

Jeans and baseball caps aren’t staples in your wardrobe.

You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.

You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

You go to parties that the police don’t raid.

Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.

Your car insurance goes down, except when you move to Jersey.

You refer to college students as kids.

You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon, and rum. Well, some of us still drink rum.

You feed your dog Science Diet instead of Taco Bell.

You’re waking up at 6 a.m. instead of going to bed.

College sweatshirts are ‘casual’ instead of dress up.

Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.

Dinner and a movie — the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter, and MTV News.

METABOLISM SLOWDOWN

Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone’s and Mad Dog.

You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.

When drinking, you say at least once per night, “I just can’t put it down like I used to.”

Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.

You decide your parents weren’t as dumb as you thought!

Remember “Growing up is after all only the understanding that one’s unique and incredible experience is what everyone shares.”
– Doris Lessing

The sudden switch from college to the real world can be pretty difficult particularly for the inevitable change in sleep patterns. Unless you conveniently live next door to work or drive an RV it may be a little hard to take the naps you so loved during college. And you’ll also find that sleeping until noon and partying all night will get you nothing more than a very unproductive day and pink slip. Here’s some tips to avoid the groggy mornings and trade in your 12-3 for a 9-5 schedule:

1. Move your alarm clock so you have to get out of bed to get it: For most of us millennials our cellphones/Alarm clocks have become our new security blankets, snuggled next to our pillow for convenient texting and late night emailing. However moving our cell phone or old fashioned alarm clock far from our bed forces us out of bed instead of sleepily muffling the sounds with our pillow. 

2. Go to Bed Earlier: Lets be honest after 10pm we aren’t really doing anything that productive. We are far too tired to do work or exercise consuming our time with the latest episode of Project Runway or a snack. Instead, hit the sack an hour earlier and read a book. You’ll find yourself falling asleep earlier and waking up earlier.

3. Gradually set your alarm to wake up earlier: If you are like me and press your snooze button 5 times until you wake up in a panic with 10 minutes to get dressed and race to work, chances are you aren’t arriving at work alert and refreshed. Each night set your alarm to 15 minutes earlier until you are waking up an hour or two before work which gives you time to eat, exercise and relax. 

4. Exercise in the morning: We all have grandiose plans for workouts after work, but the inevitable usually occurs: you come home late and are so tired you can’t imagine hitting the elliptical at the gym or taking a run. If you wake up early and exercise you get it over with, have more energy for the day and are in a better mood (legally blond anyone? “Exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make people happy and..” Well you get the point) 

5. Eat a balanced breakfast: If you are late for work and grab a orange juice and scone, you might have energy for awhile, but in no time the sugars will make you crash and be extremely tired. To avoid this (and save money from eating out) sit down and have a balanced meal of protein, complex carbs and fats before work (think peanut butter toast, and an egg or cottage cheese). This allows blood sugar to rise gradually over several hours and keeps it from dropping suddenly.

6. Establish a routine: We are creatures of habit, and the more often we do things the more we get used to them. It may seem impossible right now to wake up early, exercise, eat breakfast and shower,but eventually you will get used to it. Write down the night before your schedule for the morning and make it a point to stick with it. After a week or two of doing it, (and realizing how much you love it) it will come naturally. It just takes a couple of times dragging yourself out of bed to get there.